I’ve mentioned a few times now that Life has been one big social experiment for me… and us all really, if we choose to perceive it as so. It’s fascinating to observe how one perceives life to the next; to what is right, wrong, ugly, pretty, strange, normal…As I go about my days, I observe individuals fall into the moment just trying to process what happened to my hand or what it would be like to have just one hand themselves. Whether it puts their own life in perspective or generates loving compassion or simply redirects any negative thoughts to gratuitous thoughts, I am able to see people feel “something” as a pure, instinctual reaction. Children are the best; so honest with confusion, disparity or fear but mostly curiosity. The other day, 3 young girls walked passed me, whispering, looking back at me, not sure what to make of me…
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I STILL BELIEVE. xx
I AM ME.
I have 3 years experience as an amputee. It seems like only yesterday I was trying to figure it all out, whatever “it” means to be an amputee, physically, psychologically and emotionally. Still, I can’t say I’ll ever get it entirely. I lead my life helping others discover and believe in who they are: “Don’t be afraid to simply be the REAL, TRUE You.” It’s a gift, as I am able to learn, grow and discover through so many miraculous stories, all uniquely our own yet just as significant. Although I feel compelled to inspire hope and expose the light in the darkest situations, it’s definitely not only about those who have been or are going through horrific, life changing events. We all struggle every day to some degree. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be growing and evolving as the creative, capable beings that we are. We…
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You never know who’s listening, truly listening. Every day we share our opinions, our beliefs, our judgements without ever consciously being aware of what we preach. You might not realize who’s looking up to you, who you may inspire and what lives you are changing by the things you say, and more importantly, what you DO. To say actions speak is an understatement. What we do not only affects our own lives but has the ability to inspire, disrupt, heal, hurt, motivate, discourage, lift up, or let down…. What message do you want to leave behind?? Today I ran 12 miles, climbed 5, 17 miles later, not because I had to, not because I necessarily wanted to…but today, Im Alive & I get to. Do Life. I feel tired, defeated, anxious, confused and scared at times, as we all do. More in the last two years, living on my own. But what if I quit? What If I just gave up? What service then would I be doing for the world or myself ??
After what most considered my traumatic, life debilitating accident, I honestly had thoughts of letting it become just that. Sometimes, I just wanted to stop fighting to make sense of it all; when I and others around me might understand if I did. Instead people called ME an inspiration!? When I first heard this I thought, Me? How? For what? My heart hurts. I wanted to scream at some point every single day. I’d come to a point in my Life where I wanted to give it all up. Yes, contrary to the daily inspiration I projected. As I dedicated my experience to help others, I was still hurting, bad. Ironically, or perhaps purposefully, my hand was least of my problems, I’d say. It was ironic that this new found gift to “inspire” had emotionally overwhelmed me; the new direction my life was taking was so enlightening yet surreal. I began to feel stuck, alone, and back to my old ways of feeling not enough. This time to not only a let down to MY own expectations I had on myself but mostly to others. I didn’t feel worthy of the enlightened perspective that so often poured out of me; a “light”, others would say often, that so many could see apparently, but myself. “I didn’t sign up for this”, I shouted out, literally, one day. I am exhausted, anxious all the time. The thought to just be in an social setting where I knew I would have to be that “inspiration” or subject of perspective on Life, haunted me. To show up. To say the right things, especially to those who looked up to me or looked forward to meeting or talking to me about resilience or overcoming…what if I didn’t say the right things or I was having a bad day, what if I didn’t leave them with a new perspective and inspire them? What if I DIDN’T WANT TO!!?
The pressure I put on myself after the accident to use my story to help was a failure to everything I expressed over the years. Who was I to preach “Believe and Become”, when I struggle to Believe in myself? I realized I didn’t break free of my self- indulgent “not enough” phase I struggled so much with in my early 20’s. I became the one let down because ALL I could be was me. And “just ME”, I didn’t think was worthy or enough. But what I felt in my heart, at my purest moments of inspiration, my calling if you will, was to show up, be me, inspire, just being me and that was something I was learning and creating new every day. Never failing, in Faith, I was ‘miraculously’ renewed when I least expected it. I became an inspiration only after I became inspired in my own life. I redirected my new Life as a new beginning to Live, truly LIVE. To be inspired, to me, is to be IN Spirit. Now, INspiration somehow, somewhere fills me up, between moments of clarity and especially moments lost, confused, helpless, not knowing what to do next. I accept now that I’ve been given a gift, a role to help teach and inspire, which I believe is all of our purpose while we are here…God’s plan will always prevail. But I still know it’s not until I stop resisting this calling that the Lord’s work will truly prevail.
I continued posting my daily inspirations, sharing my journey, because again those were the authentic moments I felt inspired, anointed or compelled to share the best I knew how, through my writing. I shared my experiences or remedies that had worked for me during times of pain or confusion. As I tried helping myself I projected it outward for us all to learn by because I was the one battling more than anyone I knew, as far as I knew it ;) Intellectually I understood the simplicity of just “Believe and Become”, but how do we maintain a state of happiness & vision & hope & Faith* when we feel things start to crumble around us? I’d start my day with a grateful perspective yet almost turn to realities of the worldly things I felt lacking or inhibiting me: companionship, career, medical debt, fear. I so badly wanted that True confidence I knew lived within, but geeez my determined ego! This negative egoic mind reminded me, “you have one hand, you’re akward in social settings, you’re not qualified to be a motivational speaker, you should give up on the whole actress thing…you’re not good enough.” Don’t get me wrong, I quickly tried desperately to turn those thoughts to ones of gratitude and sure, I’d find moments to restore my Faith between the cracks. But the vicious cycle became routine almost. I felt stuck.
Again, I looked up, looked within, asked for miracles. As cliche or stupid it may sound I DID just that! I needed a miracle. I couldn’t help inspire anymore because I wasn’t inspired. Although I felt called to encourage others in need, I too needed someone to speak to me, help me see my own greatness. It’s all perspective. Help me shift to see I AM enough & in just being me; may I never quit. Guide me to be honest & True to my flaws & pain. Ahaaa there lies my avenue to help encourage at my Truest self! (Interesting, isn’t it, how we already KNOW the answer if we just ask…we already have everything we need within….) “God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called.”
“The day she had stopped pretending and finally allowed herself to walk around in the world as she honestly was. Feeling of relief and peacefulness overwhelmed her. She had set herself free.”
The power in helping others is where I finally found freedom! Just as I Am.
When I wake I say i didn’t hurt nobody, nobody hurt me, I am alive, I GET TO…..many can’t. I then thought…I rust ran, 17 miles, and that’s beyond enough. I can now remind myself I’m doing alright :)) Listen we all feel overwhelmed with the pressures of life. The frustrations of work, at least you GET TO go and have a job to get to. Relationships you get to share life with another & maybe GET TO work towards bettering or making it stronger, but you GET TO. As for your body and image, something I struggled with for years. Look at yourself in the mirror right now. Two eyes, you GET TO see the wonders and beauty of God’s creation. Two hands, two legs, one leg, no hands…the body is only the vessel. You are not your body, your clothes, your curves, your tone, your bone: you are a soul. But its all you and yours you GET TO live in and better yourself & others with. This is your time. You GET TO do this Life. You’re going to want to give up. DON’T! Stay Strong, Keep smiling, You never know who YOU are inspiring,
TBC……..Thank You and God Bless xx
Five years….260 weeks…..1,625 days…..2,333,000 minutes. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THEM? WHAT COULD YOU DO WITH THEM?
“This is your Life. Your one and only Life as you know it. YOU determine what’s possible. Make choices. Ask questions. take steps. Today is the day.”
One week from today will mark my 5 year anniversary to the day I began to live, Truly LIVE!!! The day I was given not only a second chance but the simple gift of Life itself. A return to Love, if you will. In Celebration of my 5 year Re-Birth Day, a celebration of Life for us all, I ask that you share your #BelieveandBecome moment(s) or story to create awareness and to Inspire others to Believe AND BECOME. Choose your mission.
Eric Schmidt, CEO, Google: My mission is to collect all the world’s information and make it accessible to everyone.
Phil Knight, Founder, NIKE: My mission is to bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world.
Walt Disney: My mission is to make people happy.
Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. We all have had or have a dream; believed in something greater than what we, society or our false egoic mind tells ourselves. Perhaps a calling, only never flourishing to fruition by negated or conditioned negative, faithless thoughts, whispering I’m not enough, I’m not worthy, not me. WHY not you? Why not now? WHAT IF…we ALL collectively shifted perspective to I AM ENOUGH, I AM CAPABLE, I AM _____. Fill in the blanks. Write your own story to Greatness. Perhaps we are still finding out what that may be, but please take this moment NOW to put into words what you believe in and want to become. Whether it’s believing in yourself to run a mile or a marathon, to have the courage to take a vocal lesson or release an album, to audition for a play or make passion projects, to start a community group or lead a revolution. It may take 5 years or a lifetime…but…IF You can conceive it, you CAN achieve it!
As I always say, I dedicate my experience to inspire you to believe in your own greatness & live a healthier, happier, & more fulfilled Life. Based on these crazy 5 years, I Trust it all begins with one Inspired thought. I never imagined I’d be exposed and granted such intense yet once in a lifetime opportunities; the achievements, the wisdom & the journeys I’ve endured in the past 5 years have been made entirely possible because I BELIEVED, always…first & most importantly, in something far Greater than I. Never defining myself by my accident or perceived loss of my left hand, or by “what I’ve been through.” I NEVER GAVE UP my friends. I NEVER quit. NEVER stopped Believing. I always Believed in DOing for something other than myself! It’s NOT about me! And ironically, or purposefully, I can proudly say I am becoming the woman I always imagined I could “maybe be one day” and more…with a lot of work, lessons and battles along the way, I Am, evolving daily.
Only hours after losing my left hand, sitting in my hospital bed, about to step into the unknown, my family and friends surrounding me, IN Spirit, INspired, something Greater than I spoke a simple, somewhat cliche philosophy: Chauntal, all you got to do is Believe in your personal legend, and you WILL become who you were brought into this world to be. He’s breaking you down into the woman He wants to use. Whatever that may be, we all have battles & breakthroughs. Seen or unseen, perhaps mine is a physical reminder to us all that we are survivors; an unfathomable resilience to human loss, grief, & pain. I aspire every day to be a True testament to my motto: BELIEVE AND BECOME. Words I can proudly say I LIVE by. Please share your Believe and Become story or goals all week with me in honor you YOUR amazing Life #BELIEVEandbecome! Thank you, Much Love & God Bless….xx
I Act, I Run, I laugh, I cry, I feel. I win, I Lose, I Love, I lost, I accept. I Live, I Learn, I Create, I Conquer. I Believe, I Become….I just DO it. This thing called Life.
5 years from today who will you be??
A proposition once insane, unfathomable to me…I took my first step, in Faith and I believed… Something Greater than I whispered, “You are capable.” And so I believed, and I was. I Am. And so are you!
With each painful step, a resilience graced me with my next. I suddenly had a vision that was far greater than any self doubt or fear. I never knew I was an athlete, besides my crazy, self disciplined practice. The liberation I found in running a race and love/dedication to the sport has now reconditioned and redefined my body and mind to surpass any limit I once held upon my abilities, in all areas of my life. It was not about a competition, a self-gratifying accomplishment or what was to be proven. My hours of sweat, pain, tears, victory and glory has manifested into a far greater purpose. I want to INSPIRE greatness in thee most unfathomable of circumstances. Not necessarily running from LA to Vegas (unless your Life depended on it, I’m sure you could make it happen) but CAPABLE of whatever you put your mind to. This is it! This is Life. Do it, JUST DO IT!
Goal accomplished: 6 courageous spirits reached the Vegas strip finish line, knowing what was once unfathomable has now become a reality…we Believed.
Every day, I stay True to my own mission to show the world the power of the human spirit. Challenge, explore, create, Inspire, rise up and “Believe and Become”. I encourage other extreme, life changing events as such; to Inspire greatness in people just like YOU & I, with or without disabilities…for the means of living a healthier, happier more fulfilled Life!
That being said, it’s not about me! I Inspire you and others to believe in your vision & become it! As I continue my journey within, each step of the way, every mile I run, I dedicate my experiences to encourage the importance of finding your greatness and to Believe in something GREAT and become it! This my friends is to BELIEVE AND BECOME!
To Love and Be Loved.
Sometimes there’s one, who walks into your Life with ease and no reservation. There’s an immediate unspoken understanding; an undeniable bond. You talk to for hours and/or moments of peaceful silence. Neither feels inferior, uncomfortable, nor judged. Only Love exists. Because without judgement, insecurity, or fear, there lies nothing but Love to exist; Love Is, all. Love Is. Fear is not…real. You seek happiness for one another, indefinitely, selflessly, while trying to find and understand blissful living independently, or maintaining it.
We do not lose ourselves in one another because as we give Love we find our hearts capacity to see it within ourselves. We then are happy just in the selfless acts of giving Love through our advice and support. Whether mental, physical, emotional or spiritual support, we GIVE, in Love. No sacrifice. No expectation. We surrender our time and selfish, ‘egoic’ desires or so called “issues” to make time to help, listen, and resolve for another or simply talk out a situation to redirect any impulsive or conditioned fear state thinking.
Never Losing sight of ourselves in this shared journey…own goals, desires and Life mission. Only enhanced by the UNCONDITINAL LOVE received and given. This to me, is to Love and to be Loved, without reserve. Thank you to my Mom and my best friend. They are my True definition of one of the greatest virtues in Life: altruism. As God so Loved his people & church, they’ve shown & reflected the same selfless, unconditional Love. One Love I can believe in only because they teach and show me every single day its existence. I only pray to attract and reflect more authentic relationships as such, and encourage its Truth in others, for ever and aways. Thank you for never letting me lose sight of who I am at my Truest self: Light & Love. I Look forward to a lifetime continuing to teach learn and inspire one another…..
Love Uncondionally and without reserve, Much Love. CcL
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 26,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.