THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE STRENGTH, THE COURAGE, THE PASSION, THE DRIVE, THE POWER, LIMITLESS LOVE, THE GIFT OF LIFE ITSELF.  THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE!

Exactly 4 years ago today I woke up in a hospital bed surrounded by people who loved me, a garden of beautiful, vibrant flowers and selfless doctors.  Tears running down faces, sadness, empathy and pain filled the room.  I knew my life was altered and had changed forever that morning.  In response to all the LOVE surrounding me, my initial response was, “No no, it’s ok.  I’m still here.  THANK YOU ALL.  WE’RE ALIVE so LET’S LIVE.”  More or less, but really…a new perspective whispered “it’s time to truly live your life….if not now then when?”  This morning, I again woke up with even more admiration for life than yesterday or the day before or that very morning 4 years ago to this day.  I loved my coffee. I loved my body for allowing me an 10 mile run this am.  My mind, my sight, my breath of LIFE.   My beautiful family and friends.  I loved the gift of another beautiful day to breathe, love and LIVE!  I was right.  My life did change in the most incredible way March 18, 2009……I fell in LOVE with LIFE.

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You gave me wings & I used them ….

“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called….” The Lord’s purpose will prevail. 

It is not in perfection that others are inspired…Let others get inspired by how you deal and use your imperfections.  With every day, embrace your opportunity to conquer, achieve, inspire, educate, help, Love & LIVE .  A new day, created for YOU.  On this pursuit, Trust His plan.  You are living your Life’s purpose … UNfailing Faith.  To God be the Glory! Much Love.

I accept that I am a living poster child of surviving life’s unpredictable journey, when at times may feel inhumanly painful, scary or confusing.  My life now seems to fulfill one big social experiment.  How one individual perceives me to the next is the most elaborate study of the human psyche and behavior.  Some are scared, saddened, angered, confused, inspired or simply, just curious when they see me. How, why, what happened to her?  Then, for a split second, I can almost see the frequency overload firing as their mind tries to comprehend the meaning of something so “weird” or “sad, tragic” or “inspiring”. Regardless of what people were occupied with in the moment before, once they take my “circumstance” in, I feel a shift; a sense of gratitude for their own life.  Some reactions reveal they’re glad “it didn’t happen to them”….and I know first hand that life can change in an instant for anyone.  You don’t get an explanation, the answer, the meaning of it all.  Just left with your own psyche, inner relationship with self and, ultimately, with God.  I feel as if I am living closer to my True self and purpose than ever before.

In 4 years what is it I have learned?  What have I discovered?   I am a constant reminder to others of the unpredictable, inexplainable circumstances we are sometimes handed in life.  I have learned that no circumstance truly defines you, but for most of us, we most likely think it does.  I believe I was given a “role” in life, a purpose if you will, that allows me to help, teach and inspire others to live more fruitful lives almost every day.  The more I embrace that role and all that I am, right here, right now, I get a sense of clarity that whatever I have become up to this point is what, where and who I am suppose to BE*.  Whatever this circumstance is, it enables me to give more love.  I proceed through the daily hardships, trials, challenges in one way only: Give more LOVE.  We are able to survive the pain of any day when we Live in Love.

We all search for that ultimate meaning, purpose or reason behind it all, the only thing that remains true and constant for me is an ever evolving path to create a happy life.  That entails trial and error, successes and failures, hits and misses.  This way of life ignites a burning passion in me for this Life that never, ever stops stops growing and evolving.  ”The pursuit of happiness” may insinuate a defeating search to reach ultimate peace and happiness rather than BEing happy and at peace NOW.  However, I’ve stated in previous blogs that it isn’t until we stop searching “out there”, as in outside ourselves, for something or someone to bring us happiness that we find real peace within.  YOU are the ONLY one who can provide, create, understand the essence of happiness within self.  Nothing and definitely no one else can achieve that for YOU.

Fall in Love with what you have to offer this world!  Loving my new self, just the way I am, regardless of the weirdness, pain, stares, physical and mental challenges, allows my “uniqueness” to service others in more ways than I ever imagined.  There may be moments of apprehension but the rest of the time find the courage to step out into the world and scream, Hello! This is ME and I’m not going anywhere. It is NOW, and I am never stopping.  People often ask me “how do you it?”  I guess I don’t think much of it.  I just DO.  Unfailing Faith!  Never give up and never alone. In Faith, I CAN do it.  Anything is possible. We’ve all perhaps experienced beautiful revelations, wisdom, strength, courage and resilience that come from struggle, pain, tragedy and even despair.  The Truth in my experience is I may have been broken down only to be built up, restored, stronger and wiser to become the woman He wants to use.  Have unfailing Faith that you were created for greatness.  Never underestimate your unique purpose and don’t be afraid to show the world exactly who you are.  One day, one person, one story, one smile at a time, we can make a difference and change lives!

I dedicate my experience to teach, help and inspire others, with or without disability of any sort, to LOVE who you are, embrace your “flaws” and become who you are meant to be.  I want to encourage us all to educate and teach others rather than pitty and label, relate and connect rather than judge, appreciate and love rather than make assumptions on others situations. This is our one life; we will be challenged, scared, intrigued, tempted, tested only to bring us closer to Truth. … embrace, learn, accept, move forward and teach for the means of living a more enriched, invested life….and to God be the glory!

Oh ya, you may ask, what could be so “interesting” or “weird” about me that people take a moment out of their lives to give me the real them?  Well, for starters, & only starters, exactly 4 years ago today I lost my left hand in a car accident.  THANK YOU for today, and EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!

“… nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you”! ~ ROCKY  Best Quote Ever!

BELIEVE. Believe and Become.

“When they said it wasn’t going to be easy, things would never be the same, I lost it all…I responded with,  ”sooo how awesome can I make this NEW life amidst this “tragedy”.  However, periodically I’d have frightening thoughts that created a sharp, burning sensation in my heart.  I remember a time in my life when I first experienced “heartbreak”; my heart was in pain, aching, broken.  But this time was different, unfamiliar, & scary.  A fleeting, doubtful thought came rushing in, “Will anyone ever truly Love me again?”  I immediately responded confidently with, “Yes. Of course.” I knew the answer & I felt relieved; not sure why I knew, I just did because I STILL had my Faith.  If I am alive, He is not finished with me or my purpose to rise and prevail.  I still had me, my Life, & I LOVED it more than ever.  There’s a wonderful law that attracts & I knew someone would reflect that love.

And then, we all know the unnecessary, ridiculous trickle effect of negative thought.  For me it began with: “Will I be starred at & perceived as a weak, crippled or incompetent individual by others?  Can I handle that perception of me?”  Probably, I tried convincing myself, “If I like me, other’s perception of me can’t change that, right?”  So I worked towards things I was passionate about that made me feel healthy & whole.  Acting, nutrition, and sport, giving, creating…I remember taking walks alone, shopping in Beverly Hills just a couple weeks later; no hand, no bandage, just my new normal because that’s all I had.  I could imagine the confusion it stirred up when someone saw this “normal” looking girl, but something was blatantly missing; almost frightening to fathom for oneself.  I thought, “Being that girl with one hand might take some time to get use to myself; it is what it is & I understand you just can’t get around the elephant in the room…the looks are just a part of it Chauntal” I talked to myself & God A LOT, thankfully guiding me through.  It’s an extremely unconventional distortion to some but then to see “the girl with one hand” smiling, laughing, going about life in a healthy, positive way, was almost even more unconventional to observe I imagine.  I understand now, that the way I was handling it all was what was conflicting for the mind to comprehend.

 

When we hear the phrase “Just have faith”, it sometimes feels like this distant, unsupported cliche on what we all try to conquer daily: “Trust everything is going to be just fine.”   Although it’s casually thrown around like just another generic, positive encouragement, what is the truth in this advice?  We have two choices in how we approach life: in fear or in Faith?  The choice is yours.  To have Faith you have to Believe… Believe that you are worthy, capable and meant to live a happy, healthy, fulfilled, good Life!  Believe this Truth!  Faith will not necessarily make things easier but it makes anything possible.  Without all things possible you are left with guaranteed defeat: the impossible.  Many individuals may have a misconception of what it means to have Faith.  The desire to have faith is a deep, heartfelt desire.  It wells up from your heart when you seek a truer way to live from Spirit and it often rises up in times of struggle or pain.  Perhaps the way to experience true faith, not just talk about it, is to allow it to carry us through times of trouble.  Trust.

After I lost my left hand in a car accident, I tried to jump right back into my old lifestyle with completely new circumstances.  Soon enough I realized, I was afraid I wouldn’t reach my full potential in Life after this “self-inhibiting”, physical loss.  The scariest thing for me was getting back on that stage, let alone the audition room full of, for lack of a better word, “judgement”.   The charasmatic, brave, trusting actress I once knew began to listen to false whispers of self doubt, failure, and defeat about my new self… How would they perceive me?  This haunting question being our most limiting, universal fear: How will others perceive us?  Fear of failure to family, friends, pears, but most destructively, to self.   Through many days, now years of faithful practice through the battles and struggles I endured, I’ve not only believed but experience the possible in what seemed impossible.  This is the ultimate power of Faith over fear.  Shift of perspective and an all knowing Trust.  ”When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.”

Had I not taken the leap, taken action and continued to pursue a lifelong dream, I was guaranteed 100% failure.  I find liberation in pursuing this outstanding task; to step in front of a crowd and perhaps be rejected as an actress with one hand.  Quite frankly, I got a lot of the sympathy card rather than a receptive audience to a talented actress that happens to have one hand.  I experienced the awkward applause for the “disABLED” girl or a generic “good for her” comment rather than seeing ME as an up and coming, successful artist.  But as I continue to face my fear, overcome mixed reactions from the outside world that is not myself, this unconventional mission I choose to pursue becomes more respected and accepted, as I no longer can fear how others might perceive me.  It was almost as if the outside perspective no longer existed when I realized I am the only One who can judge or define my success or failure.

Fact: I have one hand.  I love to act.  I have a dream that can only die through fear.  So perhaps you feel awkward, unattractive, overweight, untalented, unpopular, “WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK”.  If you can conceive it, Believe it, YOU can achieve it!*

Fear has an incredible ability to paralyze our potential, to keep us from launching out to become who we are meant to be and ultimately, to keep us from believing in ourselves.  When we feel the presence of fear we must admit its presence and declare that our Faith is stronger than our fear.  Make this declaration over and over again, strengthening Faith by choosing it.  Rather focus on our disabilities, celebrate our abilities.  Whatever physical, emotional or mental obstacles we face, it is so minimal to ALL the greatness we have to offer the world.  That statement of Truth is a state of absolute Faith.

Physical pain, on the other hand, is something I understand far too well….and when I felt that the suffering and sharp phantom pains would never escape me, I endured the awakening presence of Life beyond pain … through this suffering, I realized I am very much ALIVE because I feel.  It can only get better from here.  If you are in a time of trouble count it a a blessing, as trouble gives you the opportunity to consciously choose Faith over fear!  Believe in something greater than this; in a life of abundance, ease and happiness.  Had I focused on all the things I could no longer physically do that I once did with 2 hands I’d be limited in a paralyzed state of mind; of being.

LET YOUR FAITH BE BIGGER THAN YOUR FEARS

Lastly, I was in spin bootcamp the other day, and my awesome instructor said exactly the same thing I was working on for this piece; I love moments of synchronicity … He said, “What if this was your very last ride?  How would you go out?  How would you let this define you?  Giving up before it is over or give it all you got till the very last second?!”  I almost killed myself on the last song lol 😝 but those last few minutes were so symbolic to how I want to live my life.  In every area, if these were my last days, how would I want to go out?  In fear or in Faith?  I understand not all of us are met with a near death experience but had I not woken up 3 years ago, I realize only FEAR was holding me back from living my life to the fullest; inhibiting me from fully Believing and Becoming who I want to spend all my days being.  I walk in Faith because I chose.

If this Life as we know it were to disappear, END tomorrow, what would you do in the face of your FEARs?  How will you spend your last days and what in the world is holding you back now?  ”TODAY is the first day of the rest of your Life.”  If you are alive and willing, you are capable.  Perhaps you don’t think you are “willing” to expand and put yourself in the face of your fears, but having a desire to become greater in any area of your life allows greater possibility to become your reality, which is one step closer to achieving your dream.  The power of one inspired thought leads to endless possibilities….

We are all worthy of the abundance of God’s greatness.  You must Believe.  And beyond just being a Believer, be a Becomer.  Believe to Become your wildest dreams & beyond!

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see. ~ Hebrews 11:1

#believeandbecome

DON’T CRY ABOUT IT, DANCE ABOUT IT!!!

Exactly what I needed to hear!!! Perhaps you do too! This is YOUR time.  This is MY time. This is OUR time. WE in this together! Let’s Make every day better for each other.  We are all on the same team, take it from the kid, lets start acting like it!  CREATE SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE THE WORLD AWESOME!!!! “Don’t stop BELIEVING….unless your dream is stupid, get another dream ))) I’m on your team.  Be on my team.” #BelieveandBecome