DESIGN A LIFE YOU LOVE
“She Believed in dreams, all right, but she also believed in doing something about them.” ~ Walt Disney ….SHE IS YOU, SHE IS ME, I AM HER.
We all have dreams. However you want to look at it: a goal, a vision, an aspiration, “bucket list”, “When I grow up…”. All grown up now, and although my dreams may not correlate with what I dreamt of at age 10, to “LIVE the DREAM” would be the ultimate dream come true! So what does that even mean? I have always been a little apprehensive of stating that I am a “dreamer” because this perspective, to me, implied that dreamer’s dream of the things they want, seeking a goal or a desire “to be” or have something more than right now; reaffirming a state of lack there of or not enough. But the truth is, although some of us may feel content, or should I say safe with our current state, there’s always a little more we want to do, achieve, aspire to be because we are ever evolving beings with the complexity and capacity to do great things in this Universe, beyond our wildest dreams….no matter who or where you are, that is Truth we cannot deny! THAT I DO BELIEVE! The only way to evolve is to have a vision of who you want to be. So I recently redefined the “dreamer” perspective and I would like to think of myself more as a DOer. But there’s no way to DO without having a clear vision, a Dream. It starts with one inspired vision.
To pursue a desire that lives within you brings you closer to who you are truly meant to be. This is the definion of inspiration. Being aligned with your True self within. We may feel a burning desire for many things in Life but without action, it remains a distant dream. I was recently asked, what do you want?? “Well, ultimately?”, I asked. Without question, I felt the answer was, to be happy! Again, he asked, “What do you really want? What is it that you want, to BEcome, to fulfill this thing you call happy?” I said, “well I am happy…I think. But I guess I want to do more. Do more for others while staying true to my artistic passion.” As I said these words, my heart came alive…I was inspired to do just that! But how? Fear wanted to take over but when inspired, IN Spirit, Love overwhelms your heart and you’ll just know…this is it! Fear is overruled:)
When people ask what do you do or what do you want to do, I think we all resort to our go-to “story” we’ve stuck with our entire lives. It gives us somewhat an identity but also keeps us in a state of stagnation or complacency, inhibiting us from growing and reaching our full potential. The story changes, believe me:)) Something huge has shifted in me in the last year!!! If asked “what do you want?” since I’ve been living in LA (9 years), I’d say to be a successful actress, influencer and to have authentic, loving relationships. I began to feel unsure about what that even meant anymore. It sounded so generic and cliche, or was I just judging myself again?
It’s always seemed so clear to me as far as what I wanted. To act! It fulfills me, I can make people feel, expose and express Truth. But it became so apparent that eventually it was truly the most indulgent, ego driven career for years, I never wanted to admit. But I’ve learned, there is a balance. The exhausting hustle was one thing but then to fall into these self loathing cycles of not feeling good enough or worthy enough if I didn’t get the role, became so contradicting to the Life I thought I’d be living in my mid twenties. I dreamt of that house, the family, the stability. I always somehow made it work but emotionally, I’d inevitably wake up and reevaluate why it is that I continued to pursue this “passion” of mine and perhaps open my eyes, be present and see I am being called to do something greater, bigger, for others; to make a REAL difference. I realized I felt so far from all of those elements I listed that I wanted in my life. I felt like it was a distant dream again, that only feels like reality if it appears in my REM dreams;) when I’m sleeping uggg. How do I awaken this into my reality? The HUGE shift you ask?? I surrendered. I have learned, it all comes down to LOVE. Love life, love people, love what you do, love who you are! All I really know is what makes me happy NOW, in the right now, is my capacity to Love and be loved, and that is when miracles happen. Love is the essance of each of us and I’m thoroughly at peace when I’m in love with life.
I do not find myself judging my own Life all the time. But I see there is a healthy balance pursuing my passion while not consuming my existence with being attached to the outcome! Surrender…a huge shift in my perspective. It’s not that I ever lived an entirely shallow life; it’s actually what I battled to NOT be most. Therefore I see so clearly now how it never truly allowed me to be my authentic self when I struggled with this internal battle; to be authentic in an image obsessed, superficial, fame and money driven industry and culture (or town). I feel beyond blessed for the opportunities, relationships, travel, accomplishments, just surviving days of confusion, anxiety, relationships, daily battles…The thing is WE all survive this thing called Life. We live in it and hopefully find the strength and motivation to pick ourselves up and pursue it every day, with a passion and purpose.
If you’re anything like me, there was a time I didn’t know what that was anymore. Purpose. Maybe it was distracted by a breakup, a loss, a “dream” shattered, a transition in finding yourself, again…and then again. I dont think it only happens whan you are 16, then maybe again at 21, it’s a life journey, knowing thyself is an ever evolving progression and practice, as we are ever evolving into the person He designed us to be. But you must first make the decision to GO for Life and never stop. The more we know the more we grow! And sometimes in this growing process, the compromise, is stepping into the unknown and finding New purpose, and letting go of your story. You must be brave enough to let go of that person you think you are to Become the person you want to be.
I speak on this today, because I have felt I’ve been called to do something great for something greater than myself. While I’ll always be an artist, a creator, what that thing is, I have gained the humility over the last 4 years to say, perhaps I don’t know yet. The thing I DO know is that He never fails me and He is always on time. “He qualifies the chosen….” We are all chosen, hand selected to do great things! If you’d tell me 5 years ago what I had the potential to do: unfathomable. I Believe we are all here to make a real difference…Im not insinuating that it should be everyone’s dream or goal to change the world or leave a legacy, but I know there’s a place and way for each and every one of us to at least try. Since my accident 4 years ago I feel as if I’ve been called to: Inspire, build an empire, Write, Run, Act, create, speak, teach, heal….feel, LIVE LIFE! I feel as if the more I grow the more I know and I cannot stop exploring, living, feeling, believing.
You will inevitably find new purpose or place at some point, so I hear:)) so don’t get discouraged if you feel as if your plan for you isn’t going how YOU planned! It’s God’s plan. God is leading you to exactly where you are suppose to be….Change is necessary to design the Life you want. We all have dreams but it is important to clarify and be specific on what it is you really want and you might be surprised how the design gets redefined into exactly what you need to get. The outcome: the Life you desire and deserve at your Truest self!!! Let us all Live the DREAM…..
If Life is a beach, I’m just playing in the sand;)) But to cross the ocean, I must first have the courage to lose sight of the shore…….