I guess when they say everything happens for a reason & your sitting there, confused, lost, in pain, hurt, it seems like just another stupid cliche. That seemed to be my experience in 2009. But oddly enough, sometimes one’s tragedy is one’s biggest blessing of all. All the lessons, the change, the readapting was filled with significant purpose down to every little detail…because, geez in 2010, I see how it all “happened for a reason”. I have climbed mountains my friends to reach this point in my life. I don’t want to be redundant but it wasn’t until I found that peace within Chauntal when everything else that showed up in my life was a perfect reflection of that inner peace. Things started to make sense, I had moments of discovery & clarity I had never experienced before. I also give credit to the huge relief of just growing up. That quarter-life mark for me seemed brutal. I could never imagine going back to that girl I was a few years past…searching, fighting, confused, hoping something “out there”, as in outside of my mortal being, would bring me happiness or make me forever happy when in fact the definition of happiness is within oneself. For all the pain, confusion, grief, constant attempts to better myself, it was all for a reason because I live in a whole new world I would have never known existed if I hadn’t.
It’s always nice when the New Year approaches because we tend to associate everything subconsciously with what we were doing or saying we were going to do “this time last year”. I definitely set 2010 goals, that I can proudly say I achieved. Some exactly as I imagined, some that came to fruition in more miraculous ways than I could have ever expected. But bottom line, I worked hard this year. I was challenged by life itself & I challenged myself as well. Emotionally, mentally, physically! Literallly. The hard work is still paying off.
Reflecting on 2010…Challenges. Achievements. Growth.
- This year, I’ve developed the most loving, nurturing, healthy relationship I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve trusted another being unconditionally; opened my heart to love myself & give him all the love within because he deserves it. You have to be fearless & selfless to embrace this kind of love. I arrived. That includes all my relationships. My incredible family & friends grace & fuel me every day!
- It was a HAPPY Thanksgiving! I waited a yr & 1/2 for my revision surgery: remove the nueromas, shave the bone down to pull muscle over the bone so I wasn’t walking around in fear that any contact would bring me to my knees in pain. After months of fighting for insurance, I found the talented, selfless doctors & team at Rancho Los Amigos – State of the Art Rehabilitation Center. AND a beautiful success! Let’s have a toast to no more nerve balls; tears of pure happiness!!! Thank you thank you* Talk about growth. I can truly appreciate struggle, for that was one battle that surely made me stronger. Ouch:( Although I felt as if I had to start all over with recovery, emotionally & physically (I was forced to revisit a pain so indescribably, no human being should ever have to endure) I am well on my way to recovery! The long awaited prosthetic in 2011! 1 promissing year of new beginnings & new opportunities ahead 😉 And in this process of healing, the payoff was worth every tear. Putting the pain behind me in 2010, it’s a new year my friends!
- My obsession for Vampires manifested into a delightful little pilot I shot, best of both of my favorite worlds: vampires & comedy. I was on Vampire hours for a few days & although I haven’t quite got picked up for Twilight or True Blood (that comes 2011) I got my Vampire character fix 🙂
- I’ve perfected my health, nutrition & exercise regimen that works BEST for my body. I always struggled with what to do, not to do, to eat, not to eat. I’ve maintained my perfect weight, muscle tone & have a consistent workout plan I’ve been committed to for over 10 months. It’s sooo fun & the results have been very rewarding it’s worth every drop of sweat. This is a huge success for me.
- I challenged my personal limits so much this year that I became the strongest athlete that I could possibly be. I’ve always had super intense endurance but this year was different. I wasn’t on a team, dance, gymnastics, cheer, cross fit, like I’ve done in the past. There would be a coach or myself as captain, leading exercises but cutting back just as the team hit a “mark”. With or without my hand, I was determined to find strength in myself spiritually & physically & be the strongest me I could possibly be. I ran miles, hiked mountains, never let up in spin class 4 days a week, I pushed so hard & it wasn’t for anyone else but myself! It’s given me the most liberating new perspective on myself.
- I wondered if there was a bigger “reason” as to why I was training & creating this intense athlete out of myself. So my boyfriend & I shot an inspirational commercial where I hiked a treacherous path to the highest point of the mountain. It was created to encourage people to Believe in themselves & do anything you put your mind to admits any adversity life throws at you. “Everyone wants to be on top of the mountain, but it’s the struggle on the way up where a true champion lives.” In the process, we realized it sort of emulated the classic Jordan Nike commercial formula. As athletes, Nike has always had such a huge influence in the both of us by the foundation it embodies. We put the “swoosh” energy out there & a few months later, I get a call from the head of West Coast Nike that they’ve chosen me for their Destroyer jacket campaign.
- I’d say the biggest accomplishment this year was the recognition from Nike as one of their LA Destroyers: more than an athlete, more than an artist, more than a gamechanger! This was a huge badge of honor because this title not only validated me as a true athlete & innovator in my craft but as a true Inspiration to my community. https://ibelieveandbecome.com/2010/12/07/11-la-destroyers-11-artists/
- Which leads me to my final achievement. I created this website & commit to this Blog!!! It started as an outlet to inspire, encourage & motivate individuals on a higher platform to living happier, healthier lives! Including myself. I’ve learned so much along the way, from myself but mostly from you. I’m that much closer to making Believe&Become a non-profit organization where I can really start giving back. 2011 here we come! Thank you for all your support, love & inspirational mail that inspires me to keep challenging myself, keep learning, keep discovering, keep teaching, keep fighting, keep INSPIRING!
I’ve always been told that I never give myself enough credit, I’m my worst critic & way too hard on myself (still a few areas I’ll be working on in the new year 😉 But I give myself permission to really appreciate & celebrate life right now because as I reflect, I feel proud of 2010! I can’t wait to see what’s to come in the years ahead…Hopes & dreams manifest because when you truly BELIEVE you BECOME.